We often talk about life as a journey. But Yang Jiang, the renowned Chinese writer, saw it as a series of gates. Three gates in particular. And every single one of us has to walk through each of them — no shortcuts, no detours.
The first gate is saying goodbye to our parents. This is the one we least want to approach. But time is relentless. One day, you realize the person who was always there is gone. The chair at the dinner table stays empty. You learn that no matter how much you ache, the world doesn’t pause for grief. You just have to keep moving, carrying their love forward.
The second gate is raising a child. It sounds simple — feed them, teach them, protect them. But the real challenge is letting them go. Every decision feels like a test. You worry about their future, their happiness, their safety. And just when you think you have it figured out, they grow up and start making their own choices. The hardest part is realizing that your job is not to mold them, but to watch them become themselves.
The third gate is guarding yourself. After taking care of everyone else, you must take care of you. This is the gate many fail to pass. They sacrifice their health, their dreams, their peace — all in the name of love. But without a self, there is nothing to give. True strength lies in setting boundaries, in saying no, in choosing rest over burnout.
These three gates are tough. There’s no way around them. But here’s the secret: you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to show up. One step at a time. And eventually, you’ll find yourself on the other side — maybe bruised, but wiser. That is the truth Yang Jiang left us.