You saw the news, right? The Trump administration declassified a batch of long-sealed UFO files. Over 160 documents, photos, videos—and what did we get? Blurry lights, weird blips on infrared sensors. No aliens. No flying saucers. Disappointed? That’s exactly the problem.
We expect aliens to show up like in the movies. We assume they’ll communicate, maybe even shake hands. But here’s the thing: that expectation says more about us than about them. It’s human narcissism in action. And Neil deGrasse Tyson, the astrophysicist who helped demote Pluto, just dropped a book called Take Me to Your Leader that’s a brutal mirror for our species.
Tyson’s advice sounds like it’s about aliens, but it’s really about you and me. Let me give you the three takeaways—but don’t read them as space wisdom. Read them as a guide to shrinking your own ego.
First, don’t shake hands with an alien. You don’t know what that appendage is. Could be a weapon. Could be a toxin dispenser. You just assume your social customs are universal. But even on Earth, handshakes are a recent fad. Ancient Chinese bowed. Maori people touched noses. We project our own habits onto everything. That’s narcissism—believing your way is the default for the universe.
Second, don’t assume you can communicate. We’ve been sending radio signals into space for decades, like shouting into a canyon. But what if alien cognition is so different that our messages look like noise? Tyson points out that human emotional centrality—thinking our feelings matter to the cosmos—is unbounded. We’re so self-centered that we can’t even accept a rational trade-off: reintroduce mountain lions to reduce deer-car crashes, even if a few people get killed by lions. The emotional horror of being mauled outweighs the statistical reality of saving 155 lives per year. That’s not logic. That’s ego.
Third, stop thinking you’re the center of the story. The universe has been around for 13.8 billion years. Earth is a speck. Your life is a blink. Yet we act like our personal dramas are cosmic events. This isn’t just about aliens—it’s about how you argue with your partner, how you react to criticism, how you refuse to change your mind.
Here’s the practical takeaway: your life radius—the space where you can grow, learn, connect—is directly limited by how much you cling to your own self-image. Every time you assume your way is the only way, you shrink your world. Every time you let emotion override evidence, you build a wall.
So how do you break out? Start with the simplest tool: ask “What if I’m wrong?” Not as a rhetorical question—really sit with it. When you feel that defensive surge, that’s your narcissism talking. Pause. Breathe. Realize that the universe does not revolve around your feelings.
Tyson’s book is a mirror. Look into it, and you might see the distance between you and a bigger, more connected life. The radius is yours to expand—one humble step at a time.